Exam Week

Both my boys are having exam this week. In fact, the older one started since last Wednesday.

Once I used to get so stressed up and paranoid over their exams...but after multiple practises of going through exams...I am more cool now? Why? Firstly, it was too difficult to always stays on the top. Secondly, I left all the revisions to them and either you be one of the top or don't fail ( don't be one of the bottom lah) and that is pretty achievable..the don't fail and don't be one of the bottom part!

While the older one is a little stressed up that he can't finished his syllabus and that there are still areas he doesn't understand ( he's in Form Four Science stream ) , the younger one is so relaxed as if there is nothing to study!!!! The older boy know how to set his own goals and what he wants to achieve...the younger one is always telling me studying is so boring and half of the time you don't even use what you have studied in school. True..but too bad..schooling is what he has to go through in life and no excuses.

When the younger one was in primary school, he will take part in whatever competition there is just to escape going to class!!!! That part I don't mind, because I believe that is also very important especially areas like story telling, chess and badminton competition.

So you can imagine the scenario at home, one I will always asked to take a break and if he doesn't understand skip first and hope it won't come up in exam. The one I will be screaming go do your revision.....NOW, Don't touch my handphone etc etc!!!!!!

Although I am a SAHM, I just don't sit down with my kids for their studies like some good moms do.  I did that till they were in Std 3 ( then chinese became too hard, I gave up).  If the results were far from satisfactory , I always asked them to go thru their papers and see why they didn't do well. Is it because , they did not study enough? or they were careless? or don't bother to understand what they have studied?  I take the easy way out. That is why I think I should really have gone back to workforce earlier. And I always give them the option for a tutor if they really need one.

Sometimes I feel so guilty reading on how some moms help their kids with their studies but me 'bo chak' simply because I am darn lazy. I don't even send them for any enrichment classes because they didn't ask? Only badminton for the younger one and Art for the elder one and have since stopped last year. I want them to be streetwise, and I believe this trait is simply inborn because the younger one is definitely streetwise but not the older one.

The only good thing is they have warm meals and clean house to come home to? They have me to share their disatisfaction at school ...but when it comes to schoolwork...sorrylah...my days of studies are over. Anyway, they seldom asked me also...I've returned everything to the teacher.

Live A Balance Life

I really like this speech by Mr Ratan Tata. Now who is Mr Ratan Tata? Well I just got to know....Ratan Naval Tata  (born 28 December 1937) is an Indian businessman, investor, philanthropist and chairman Emeritus of Tata Sons.

Therefore I am putting it here for easy reference and reminder whenever I get overly stressed up and forgot to live!!!

Of Friendships and Going Back to Workforce.

Since last year, I met 2 of my ex-bosses whom I have not met for a decade or more. Suddenly, I miss going back to workforce. Coincidentally, my ex-colleague was giving this proposal to join her company ( not hers, the one she works for now) and that she has good connection . So tempting.

So I seached high and low for my cv. I remembered I had only one because when I first started working , it was an intership for my course. After 6 months of Industrial Training, I continued my final year in UK. Before I graduated, my former boss wrote to me to ask me to go back to work once I'm done with my course. So I went back , with her letter of recommendation. There was never an interview. So easy peasy!

After a good 7 years of working, our department was bought over by another company in which I stayed for a year and then went over to another one for another year and had to quit after the birth of my 2nd child. All these while, it was the whole gang of us moving together, no interviews..almost like being sold. But who cares, pay is good.

I really enjoyed my working years. My bosses all treated me well and my colleagues are just a helpful lot.

So recently some of us met, because my former boss ( I had many ok...cause I started as a trainee...mah) invited us for his daughter's wedding and many of us met for the first time after a years of being apart.

It is amazing that when we met again, the 'separated years' just melted away and we can just pick up from where we left.

Today, I received a whatsapp from my very 1st boss who are organising a get-together for all the 'ex-colleagues' , and looking at the familiar names brought so much great memories. Sometimes, we move on in life but when we crossed paths again, we realised we do treasure those friendships much more than we actually realised.

OK, coming back to joining the rat race.....I couldn't find my cv. I tried recreating one but failed because I just cannot remember all the projects that I've done. I have several certificates to give a vague idea but those are just not enough cos I did a lot in those 7-9 years.

Oh ya, remember I had no cv and the only reason why I had one, is because my latter company wanted to sub-con me to my former company for projects. I still remember the Mat Salleh interviewer looked at my cv and said " Extremely impressive" . So sad....I don't even have a copy of it for rememberance.

Sigh...maybe I just concentrate on my Izumio and Super Lutein business for now and looking forward to the big gathering of ex-colleagues.

If you ask me now, given the chance to turn back the clock , would I give up my job again? My answer is 'No'. Oh yes, I enjoyed my kids' kindy years the most. I remembered being so contented at that time...but reality hits...you need money, and they devalue as the years go by,  ok? I'll probably look for a good daycare and stop being so paranoid and 'obssessed over my kids'. ha! ha! Or perhaps I don't even want to have kids!!!!!

Mind Your Language

Few days ago I wrote how teenagers ( or adults too maybe) loosely used the word 'shit' as if it just a normal word.

Yesterday , was another situation where the word has become habitual to most teenagers.

My boy had his public speaking contest yesterday. He was relating how one of the participants forgot his script halfway....pause for a while and utter 'shit'! right on the stage! Of course he was given a earful after the competition.

It is really difficult to influence your kids not to use swear words like this especially when the peers, adults are all doing it. Look at facebook...all these younsters just can't get by a day without uttering some swear words.  Back home , we really need to be a good example to them too else it would be like the Malay proverbs " Seperti ketam mengajar anaknya berjalan lurus".

Therefore I really admire my brother in law who would not even utter the word 'stupid' and you could hardly hear his children utttering any of those curse words , at least I've never heard them before. It is really leading by example.

But I have to admit, I am guilty of 'stupid/idiot' too...especially towards drivers and their extra-ordinary parking skills!!!
 

Making Jewellery

Once upon a time, I used to make jewelleries.  After my maid left , I hardly have time to deal with those stuffs anymore.

I have so much of materials leftover and  it is almost impossible to find time to feed my hobby. Actually , you can say I don't manage my time well.

Well, today, I decided to dig out my treasure chest and came out with 2 necklaces. Feel very guilty afterwards because...cooking not done, house chores not completed. Yes, making jewellery is very time consuming especially if you don't have any inspiration and your materials are not well organised.

Not exactly satisfied but at least I have new necklace to wear soon. Actually I prefer bracelets.  Maybe I'll work on those unfinished ones first.

Humour in Mundane Tasks

This group of young people or teenagers surely know how to inject humour into their mundane school assignments.

I saw a file on my desktop title "ps-shit.doc". It is actually my younger son's public speaking ( ps)  speech. This year the topic that he got was pretty boring to him. So after finishing his written speech he named it "ps-shit" to make life less boring. When I chided him for the naming convention, he changed it to "useless-ps.doc"!!!

Today, my older boy was relating how one of the group in his class who was doing a 'moral project' presentation caused the class to burst into laughter and liven up the class. The presentor was using the laptop to do his presentation. As his file is in an email, he clicked the email titled " moral shit". Luckily the teacher was quite sporting and just commented " Benci sangat ke project ini?".

Youngsters nowadays just so love the word 'shit'.

The New Generation

A friend of mine wrote this

"Kids need parents and parents are always there for them. When parents need their children it is never always so."

This statement draws some interesting discussion.  I realised the current generation ( my generation), the sons can still be depended upon. Many of our husbands are filial to their aged parents. They put up with the whims and fancy and even ridiculous demands and going 'old folks home' is a no-no.

But my generation, as parents ( as expressed by my friends too)  ourselves feels we must try in as much as possible to be independent and not trouble our kids by keeping ourselves healthy and financially sound. We must not have the mentality that we gave birth to our kids and they must take care of us in old age. This doesn't mean children should abandoned their parents but more as a parent, we need to have this mindset that :" Our kids did not asked to be born. Our love to them must be unconditional, bring them up the best we can with no expectations. And many times, if we do it right, they will in turn choose to take care of us".

Back to the statement above, it is really a sad reality of today because most children are struggling with their own families...putting food on table and dealing with the high cost of raising kids nowadays.

One commentator said this " Having children is an unconditional responsibility. Raised them with no expectations in return. Otherwise dont have them in the first place"

I do agree with this statement from a parent point of view. Having said that , it doesn't mean I ( as a child) washed my hands off taking care of my parents, I will because of the 'gratitude' and 'love' that they poured to me and my sibblings. It's a natural reaction.

Times has changed. Many of the kids today work overseas...how to take care of their parents. Some aged old parents needs so much care...and children has to work. If they are financially sound, can employ a helper or send to nursing home but those that struggling themselves...how to cope.

I also see how children pushed the responsibility of taking care of their parents from one to another. A very sad situation.  As parents, if we are old , we should try not to make ourselves difficult to take care , unlovable and useless unless no choice if health is really bad.

As one of my friend said, "luckily I have only one son, lest I get pushed from one son to another!". 

When my children grows up, they will have their lives. I can only hope that they will have a successful and happy life of their own. Don't trouble me okay..... me and my hubby we will grow old gracefully together. We won't stay with our children , nearby will be good.

As for CNY, it is okay some years, if the daughter in  law wants to go back to her own mom instead of going to the hubby's family....likewise the sons too. Strange...that's how some of us feel.

For the younger generation, make sure you know why you want to have kids in the first place.