The New Generation

A friend of mine wrote this

"Kids need parents and parents are always there for them. When parents need their children it is never always so."

This statement draws some interesting discussion.  I realised the current generation ( my generation), the sons can still be depended upon. Many of our husbands are filial to their aged parents. They put up with the whims and fancy and even ridiculous demands and going 'old folks home' is a no-no.

But my generation, as parents ( as expressed by my friends too)  ourselves feels we must try in as much as possible to be independent and not trouble our kids by keeping ourselves healthy and financially sound. We must not have the mentality that we gave birth to our kids and they must take care of us in old age. This doesn't mean children should abandoned their parents but more as a parent, we need to have this mindset that :" Our kids did not asked to be born. Our love to them must be unconditional, bring them up the best we can with no expectations. And many times, if we do it right, they will in turn choose to take care of us".

Back to the statement above, it is really a sad reality of today because most children are struggling with their own families...putting food on table and dealing with the high cost of raising kids nowadays.

One commentator said this " Having children is an unconditional responsibility. Raised them with no expectations in return. Otherwise dont have them in the first place"

I do agree with this statement from a parent point of view. Having said that , it doesn't mean I ( as a child) washed my hands off taking care of my parents, I will because of the 'gratitude' and 'love' that they poured to me and my sibblings. It's a natural reaction.

Times has changed. Many of the kids today work overseas...how to take care of their parents. Some aged old parents needs so much care...and children has to work. If they are financially sound, can employ a helper or send to nursing home but those that struggling themselves...how to cope.

I also see how children pushed the responsibility of taking care of their parents from one to another. A very sad situation.  As parents, if we are old , we should try not to make ourselves difficult to take care , unlovable and useless unless no choice if health is really bad.

As one of my friend said, "luckily I have only one son, lest I get pushed from one son to another!". 

When my children grows up, they will have their lives. I can only hope that they will have a successful and happy life of their own. Don't trouble me okay..... me and my hubby we will grow old gracefully together. We won't stay with our children , nearby will be good.

As for CNY, it is okay some years, if the daughter in  law wants to go back to her own mom instead of going to the hubby's family....likewise the sons too. Strange...that's how some of us feel.

For the younger generation, make sure you know why you want to have kids in the first place.